If you give your heart or are ready to give your heart to someone you have barely known for a few days, then how can you expect them to take care of it? Why do you expect them to? The mere act of you doing this in itself shows that even you don’t take care of your heart. Haven’t you learned this lesson before? Why are you like such a druggie for connections that feel so spiritual and intellectual that the moment you get a whiff of them you lose all your self preservation and objectivity? The kind of person you are, you need to deeply be connected to something that satisfies your ethereal disposition or else you will find people to lose yourself in. Writing is one way, meditation probably is another. Social causes, passion projects, new hobbies. Not the ones that sound good on paper. Not the ones that people around you indulge in. But you have to explore the ones that really speak to you. And you have to give your heart and time and energy to them. You must. There is no other way. You need to live this life with an open heart . You are just that kind of person. You need to let yourself genuinely and deeply care. Idealistic. Sensitive. Authentic. Spiritual. Don’t try to fight it. Try as you may, being bitter and cynical and untrusting and stone hearted isn’t your concept. No matter how much life sometimes makes you wish it was. Embrace who you really are. You need to feel connected. So connect. Just look beyond people. Nature is always waiting. Art is always waiting. You’ll find things. Not as substitutes but as true facilitators of your need for a deeper connection. People? Don’t renounce them. But know that people are people and have their limitations and that will never change. So don’t try to make it. Keep an open heart. And keep it with yourself. You are the only one who can take care of it well.
Ashley Olivia. 23. SLC, UT.
Talents include day drinking, overthinking, and disappointing everyone around me.
There’ll be a moment when you realise you’re 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn’t be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don’t talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom’s burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won’t be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.
Edit- I added the visualizer for this piece on my YT, check it out here
